Much of the language about goal setting is centered around the individual as denoted by terms such as self-development, self-improvement, or self-awareness. But we rarely achieve our goals alone. Everyone needs support and most goals require the input of others. Even if it means sharing your frustrations, looking for solutions with friends, or having people stand by you.
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Many couples have a blind spot when it comes to relationships. Even the most determined, motivated, and self-motivated individuals can neglect goal setting in the relationship itself. However, setting relationship goals encourages the relationship to reach new heights. can do. And of all the goal-setting tools, her SMART goals in relationships work the best.
Why Goal Setting Improves Relationships
Relationship goal setting may feel foreign or unusual. But most couples have some unspoken goals. They may discuss what kind of vacation they would like to plan, move in together, or share their needs and desires. . The goal-setting process itself helps you learn about your partner and plan creative ways to combine your mutual interests and desires.
Research highlights the value of setting goals in relationships. Couples who are motivated by growth and intimacy-focused goals (approach-related goals) have higher relationship satisfaction. This approach to goals also increases self-expansion, the term given to positive ways in which relationships extend someone’s sense of identity and worldview.
In addition, mutual support of partners, improved problem-solving of two brains, the ability to pool resources (e.g., both partners can meet the financial demands of a particular goal), and mutual cooperation in pursuit of goals. Growth, all inclusive. It has a positive impact on relationships. Overall, goal setting is a catalyst for relationship growth.
What are SMART goals?
A paper was published in 1981. management review It goes on to shape the whole field of self-development. George Doran originally introduced the SMART framework for business. Since then, this model has become one of the most popular goal-setting tools he has, and has been applied in many ways beyond its original business context.
Doran used SMART Goals as an acronym to classify five key elements of goal setting. If you follow it, your chances of achieving your goals will greatly increase. these are:
- definite: Rather than vague desires and outcomes, clever goals should expand and articulate the individual components needed. Substantiation involves identifying sub-goals and action steps that work together toward the larger goal. For example, publishing a book requires a goal of writing a certain amount of words each day.
- measurable: When setting goals, you are more likely to succeed if you know how to measure improvement. In the example above, is it based on monthly word counts? Or is there consistency in scheduling writing times?
- reachable: Goal setting has a sweet spot. If you set your goals too high, you may get frustrated and give up. If you set your goals too low, you may not reach your full potential or get bored quickly due to the lack of challenge. SMART goals are challenging, but within the realm of possibility.
- related: You have to be emotionally connected to the goal you want. Even if you think it’s a goal you should aim for, if you don’t feel the desire in your heart, your motivation will go down. SMART goals are the ones that make the most sense and increase your chances of success.
This easy-to-follow framework, combined with a structured way to identify and measure goals, makes it the perfect tool for couples looking for more direction.
How to use SMART goals in your relationship
Setting SMART goals in relationships is a little more difficult than setting them in isolation. He has two unique sets of desires, approaches and perspectives. The goals you set in your relationship should be unique to that relationship. You need to set aside time to sit, focus, and plan. If you’re struggling with date night suggestions, make this one of them.
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If you think of a Venn diagram, you’re looking for goals that exist in the overlap between you and your partner. What does it mean to you both? Start by examining the relevance of your goals. Perhaps you both love to travel and have these types of experiences high on your list of goals.
You can also reverse engineer your goals based on your relationship values and love language. For example, if you both focus on personal growth, set goals that you find difficult, such as studying a course together, attending a self-development workshop, or hosting an event together. can do.
Find purpose with goal setting
This approach inverts the SMART framework by ensuring that we are working together on meaningful goals. Communication is key. No two people are perfectly compatible. As such, you are looking for something new to complement the uniqueness of your relationship.
Once this is established, we can discuss the details. It then goes on to explain how goals are measured and how realistic they are. Working towards mutual goals allows for a direct way to support each other and hold each other accountable. This doesn’t have to be serious either, but it’s fun.
You may begin to see how intentional setting mutual goals can be. If both have a growth mindset and believe the process itself should be learned, start getting closer to each other, learn more about each other’s strengths and weaknesses, and create practical steps to becoming a team. start to she is much bigger than the two.
If those aren’t relationship goals, what are they?
