My attitude towards TikTok can be summarized as follows.
I can’t put my finger on what I don’t like, except that it’s everywhere. The brain-melting ability to frustrate people with anything that lasts longer than 27 seconds. Curiosity shrinks to the size of a pinhead with a devious algorithm that learns what you like and gives it more. The fact that we cannot discuss without using the word algorithm. The fact I am sure of is that it is all probably related to China’s vast data collection scheme. Thousands of people squat down on monitors and use their phones’ mapping and accelerometer capabilities to determine if they’ve just sat on the toilet and are sitting on it. An alert announcing 10 new TikToks from your favorite influencers participating in the Drano challenge, or 87% of TikToks consist of SASS or perhaps someone’s big head who disapproves something with a frown vulnerable to the fact that it appears to be
Everything else is fine.
I don’t have the app on my phone because I don’t trust it. But I was tempted to load it up and try out the new feature that’s making middle-aged people depressed: the youth filter.
There have been anti-aging filters for a while, and they are interesting. The Snapchat version kept turning me into Cousin Bruce, and the Photoshop version gave me the hair I never had.
But this ages you in real time. There’s a split-screen feature, so you can see your desolate, desiccated mug below and your angelic, young self above. People gasp with disbelief as they grapple with the chasm between who they are now and who they used to be.
If you want to know what you looked like in high school, there’s a yearbook photo that suggests there was a sale at the Corduroy Warehouse. If you want to know what you looked like 15 years ago, check out the photos in the column.
One Twitter account said the app forced people to confront the passage of time and explain what they had done between “then and now”. like. Others were surprised at the comparison between then and now, because in their heads they were still 15 years younger than they actually were.
This is not uncommon. Most of us think we’re younger in spirit than we actually are, according to a recent article in Atlantic magazine. This could be a sign of an ossified brain that never goes beyond your 25-year-old beliefs and preferences. This could mean listening to a classic rock station, listening to “Stairway to Heaven” and thinking, “Wow, this is amazing.” It’s been a few days. Or it could be a sign of individuality that retained the energy and enthusiasm of youth despite the unrelenting gravity and ticking of the clock.
Personally, I know I’ve aged mentally over the last few years and I accept that humanity can’t solve and sort this all out before I finish my tenure on the dirt. I feel like I’m about 35 physically. Go to Figure.
The point is, we’re a mixture of reality and imagination, the steam of youth and the lead bars of age, and people worry that TikTok filters force us to live in reality.
Wait until these people hear about something called a “mirror”.
Online culture ethicists worry about filters, wondering if it’s really right to use them when making videos. People who admire all the social media innovations will say it’s like putting on makeup.
In a few years, when your artificially intelligent doppelgänger will be able to mimic your appearance and the way you speak and create videos for you, neither will matter. Say goodbye to that tedious task!You say that and your chin is like hurt After a minute, excuse me, do I have to breathe and form words? What is this, a Roman galley slave ship?
After working with computers for 40 years, I am satisfied with the tools they provide to the world. I love telling my wrist device to turn on the lights. I love tapping buttons to send messages to my daughter on the other side of the world. I love checking my phone to see if there is traffic ahead. Probably because he was looking at his phone to see if there was traffic ahead.
I was an online booster before the internet. The rise of artificial intelligence and addictive apps has made me think that everything should be nukes from orbit. Then rebuild from scratch, knowing what we currently know.
(No, this isn’t a ChatGPT AI-generated piece, it came from a prompt to “write your baby-boom grumblings about today’s technology”, which would have been much more concise.)
james.lileks@startribune.com • 612-673-7858 • Twitter: @Lileks • facebook.com/james.lileks
